Monday, August 16, 2010
Friday, August 13, 2010
oops-freeflowing unedited-sorrryk
in the middle of the night
when the storm has sent cascades
through hours
lashing gracefully
dancing scathingly
when sets across these states
run from sordid screens
to whirring reruns
to blankly buzzing
nofalls
i no longer exist
because i told my story to
my night self too many times
and it has become background noise
like the splatsplatpatter
and the frrrrrrrrrrrzzzzzz
its the meeeeeeeeeeee
that has ceased
to be interesting
to be intelligible
to be being
beating herself to the punches,
punching herself to the rhythm,
rhythmically breathing in again and away
into all things
--------------------------------------
if it meant anything
i would tell you
i'm really confused; i think we all are.
the panic always emerges
sets the stage lights on my
poor quickening heart and
-it leaps out -
a failed entrance
a forced smile and a stiff half motion curtsy
where emotion might have been
had i the courage
to be the woman in my head
who i've kept in cages of all kinds and colors
sleek and shiny things harbor hideous beasts
she thinks
had i the courage
i'd have said something sacred
i'd have danced into center
lit up the perimeter and parted with
kisses so genuine
to accept is to accept
and to reject is to reject
and the outcome matters less
than what is clear
and seeing through
is being here
when the storm has sent cascades
through hours
lashing gracefully
dancing scathingly
when sets across these states
run from sordid screens
to whirring reruns
to blankly buzzing
nofalls
i no longer exist
because i told my story to
my night self too many times
and it has become background noise
like the splatsplatpatter
and the frrrrrrrrrrrzzzzzz
its the meeeeeeeeeeee
that has ceased
to be interesting
to be intelligible
to be being
beating herself to the punches,
punching herself to the rhythm,
rhythmically breathing in again and away
into all things
--------------------------------------
if it meant anything
i would tell you
i'm really confused; i think we all are.
the panic always emerges
sets the stage lights on my
poor quickening heart and
-it leaps out -
a failed entrance
a forced smile and a stiff half motion curtsy
where emotion might have been
had i the courage
to be the woman in my head
who i've kept in cages of all kinds and colors
sleek and shiny things harbor hideous beasts
she thinks
had i the courage
i'd have said something sacred
i'd have danced into center
lit up the perimeter and parted with
kisses so genuine
to accept is to accept
and to reject is to reject
and the outcome matters less
than what is clear
and seeing through
is being here
Thursday, August 5, 2010
really?
it occurred to me that i could conceivably choose to not worry about anything but my own life. that might make things simpler, huh? haha. oh miiii oh my.
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